I'm not quite sure I want to jump on the "in my pants" song meme that seems to be making the rounds of a lot of friends' blogs. It's not so much that I don't think it's funny as that I'm just too lazy to set up a playlist, hit "shuffle", and then comb through all the stuff that just doesn't fit. (Remember: I'm the person who changes the CD in my car stereo once every two months, whether I need to or not.)

I mean, "Dirty Laundry (In My Pants)"? Kind of obvious, don't you think? (That one's on almost all my compilation CDs, so it doesn't matter when I swap discs.)

So maybe it's time to compile a new list -- a list of things to tack on to your favorite song title, fortune cookie, insult, or expletive. The most popular ones I know are:

... in my pants.
... in bed.
... between the sheets.
... in the bathtub.

So, let's free-associate a little. Some of the ones that first come to mind:

... on the toilet.
... under the mattress.
... on toast.
... under my tongue.
... on a stick.
... with onions.
... in the back seat.
... between my toes.
... on drugs.
... in Congress.
... up your nose.
... on a 1.5% agarose gel.
... in your navel.
... with vodka.
... in a Kleenex.
... on Fox News.

Y'know, there's an idea. Shuffle your playlist and a list like the one above, put them together, and then see what happens.

You first.