Obligatory postscript to the last post, international travel division:

Ontario: Burned myself with Tim Horton's coffee within convenient distance of a pharmacy that carried OTC codeine.

Sonora: Managed to explain to a waiter, in Spanish, that my husband is allergic to dairy.

Queensland: Found Nemo while diving on the Great Barrier Reef.

Northern Territory: Scared away two other tourists by chattering in French about the honeypot ant queen that was crawling at my feet.

South Australia: Got sworn at for parking on the side of the road while echidna-watching on Kangaroo Island.

Victoria: Saw flocks of galahs and crimson rosellas flying across a road.

England: Got a tour of Oxford from an alumnus who pointed out all the places where he'd gotten drunk.

Scotland: Tasted haggis, and decided that I prefer liver and oatmeal when served on separate plates.

New Zealand-North Island: Irked some cave weta in a national park.

New Zealand-South Island: Read all about the Rainbow Warrior at the Dunedin public library.

Tahiti: Swam at the most littered beach I've ever seen in my life.

Aruba: Acquired a recipe for the planet's best rum punch.

Bonaire: Brought traffic to a halt in the capital while incompetently parallel-parking a Suzuki Samurai.

Antigua: Earned a sailboarding certificate despite my utter inability to stay on the damned thing.

Panama: (Coming May/June 2006 -- watch this space!)