And speaking of non sequiturs: This is my all-time favorite among David Letterman's Top Ten:

Top Ten Canine Disorders or Debutante Complaints

10. Distemper
9. Rabies
8. Broken heel
7. Wilted corsage
6. Mange
5. Out of shrimp
4. Heartworms
3. Warm Tab
2. Ticks
1. Kennel cough / Daddy's drunk (tie)