Sunday, February 27, 2005

My mother is nearly 86 now, and no longer suffers fools gladly. I recently, at her request, put her phone number on the Do Not Call List, but either it hasn't taken effect yet or some people are just clueless, and of course it doesn't protect against hard-sell letters. Mom's having none of it, though. Here are some of her victims from recent weeks:

The offender: Someone who asked Mom for her social security number over the phone.
Mom's response: "Hey, whaddya asking me that for? You don't know me! I don't know you!" (slam!)

The offender: Someone who tried to sell Mom window-installation services and asked her what kind of windows she had now and how old they were.
Mom's response: "It's none of your [Zarquon-accursed] business what kind of windows I have!" (slam!)

Maybe you had to be there, but we're talking about a 5'1", white-haired, blue-collar Italian-American lady who usually comes off on first meeting as being unassuming to a fault. She had me laughing so hard on the phone that I was in tears, mostly because of this final tale:

The offender: Someone who repeatedly sent letters pleading with her to buy life insurance. ("Buy now before you turn 86, and get a policy at the lower, 85-year-old's rate!")
Mom's response: Finding out that the name signed to the letter, translated from Italian, refers to the scent of a flower, and sending him a letter that closed with the line, "Even your name smells!"

I'm beaming. I'm SOOooooo proud of my mom.

And, finally, on a completely different note: Found this one while bloghopping, and will close with it:

Bands // Song Titles

Created by BourdiezFreak and taken 22331 times on bzoink!

Choose a band/or artist and answer only in song TITLES by that band:The Police
Are you female or male:Miss Gradenko
Describe yourself:Born in the 50s
How do some people feel about you:Wrapped Around Your Finger
How do you feel about yourself:Too Much Information
Describe your ex girlfriend/boyfriend:Demolition Man
Describe your current girlfriend/boyfriend:Canary in a Coalmine
Describe where you want to be:Walking On the Moon
Describe what you want to be:Hungry For You
Describe how you live:When the World is Running Down (You Make the Best of What's Still Around)
Describe how you love:Synchronicity I
Share a few words of wisdom:Don't Stand So Close To Me

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